a were wolf

Don't worry, its dead. it wasn't originally, but then i decided it was for the best.
I drew 2 weekends ago when i went to Valladolid to visit my lovely friends there. One of them does art, and is incredibly good at drawing. She wanted to draw me doing something, so i decided it would be nice to draw too. though i cant do people terribly well - i dislike doing real things

seems like you cant see his right foot. oh well

MORE cigarettes

 and more regrettes.
i haven't updated for a while, but that is because i have been rather busy downloading things and updating my cultural knowledge of things. like the insides of bars. and spanish films
plus i've been updating my list of all the films i have seen

but here we are - more cigarettes that have been unsmoked for art... hope you enjoy them. Once i have smoked all my rolleys i will buy more of different brands and draw on them all!!!!!

More evidence of how caffeine is a heavy influence on me

My problem is that I know exactly what I want and when I don't get it I'm upset. This was done out of boredom and a desire to draw something...

Actual sketching

This is done down the road from the flat I'm in at the moment. For comparison purposes, try clicking on this and having a look on street view, it should be obvious where I'm looking to and from.
Quite proud of it, but shading could be so much better. I really was inspired by some crosshatched line drawings I saw in my HP Lovecraft collection. It was of a really elegantly grotesque goblin-type creature.

More random drawing that I have done

This is the least coherent of my sketchings. I think I had finished handing in an essay or something after an allnighter, then went to a coffee shop opposite the Parkinson Building, and just sat and thought what shall i draw?
The drawing doesn't answer that question. What did I draw? you be the judge...

I see a fighting duck. Others see a monkey, others a cat, others a wrestler. You?

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Why do I smoke?

Ha.

No clue, as yet. That's another thing I'm going to work out in a bit. But in the meantime:

Since being in Spain, I have run out of rolling papers. A mate gave me some for a while, but then I decided I should buy some straights because I can't find a tobacconist, and they're the only places that will sell them, I believe. But anyway, I enjoyed doing this - I took all of the shit out and flattened a Lucky Strike, if that's not clear...
There's a feather there, and the stuff at the top was flames, then smoke, then now I think it's wood. Not sure.

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Things that I have created recently

So here they go, the series of drawings that I did in my moleskine yesterday which was when i decided to make a blog for them, and my thoughts, now that they seem to be getting more artistic / clearer / even more odd-looking. As the above says, I was listening to KG's Vitality Sessions Mix which you should be abl to find on his MySpace. It really is good - about an hour of slightly commercial but generally banging DnB.

This one started out with me getting my pen out of my pocket and then drawing a line down the middle of the page and discovering that more ink/water was coming out than there should be.
So it turned into a kinda semi-volcanic interpretation of the music I was jamming to.

This was originally a sad angel in turn with the music, but as my drawings don't tend to be very good i decided to draw it in a more interpretative sense, and again drew to the music. I don't know whether this semi abstract way of doing things is original or not, I suspect not, but still i like it cos it leads to interesting places. The things in the middle are a trumpet under spikes.

Self explanatory.
I really enjoy good coffee, as many will know, and my current Spanish experience is prohibitive of good coffee. NIGHTMARE.
I get made breakfast here, which is coch coz i'm with a family, but what spanish café con leche is is half milk and half cafetiere coffee which is cold when it goes in, then they microwave it. it comes out sickly, even without sugar.
This things is a reference to me having a nice espresso in the Plaza Mayor and being presented with a veritable shedload of coffee. why? i had to spoon it out of the bottom. I always feel obliged to use a packet in its entirety, hence my problems. By the second espresso though i had a receptacle (first one) for the OTT sugar, which helped me. Also, I got a machine espresso today and didn't put any sugar in it, but it turned out to have some in it. cheeky, and iritating, like these Spanish spotify adverts. sugary shite.

Yeah this is kinda one of my preoccupations. EVERYONE LOOKS AT ME.
WHEREVER I GO IN THE WORLD.
But here in Spain it's not surreptitious. Cars slow down, drivers turn, people walk into me practically. Bloody annoying. I'm gonna work out why soon and I'll let you know what I come up with. But in the meantime here are my mirrored glasses coupled with my people-watching addiction.

And this is the last thing that I did in this series, which I'm the most happy with. I have been having a kinda low-level existential crisis for a while now, and I think that I have finally cracked it, thusly. I have always known all of the things I have said above, but writing things out helps concrete things, and I was semi-extatic when I wrote it because I knew a bit more how everything worked about me.

I say everything, this is not the case. Odds and ends left to sort out, but I'm happier now.

Cheers for reading this far, and looking. If you want to say anything please please don't be shy.

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This is where it all begins...again

This is far from the first blog i have decided to write. But, i have decided that as things carry on happening in my life, i want to write it all down, and share some of the things that I am doing with the world.
I am currently in Spain doing a language course (in Spanish, obviously) and I am having a really really good time. But, over the course of the past year, I have been considering my life, and those of others, in a completely new way. Some, myself included, attribute this new thinking to smoking more weed. I would argue that far from being a bad thing, it has simply opened my mind. This may seem like a pretty clichéd thing to say, and, as with anyone at this juncture in their lives, my perspective on life and what it is to be human, and specifically me, is changing rapidly as i do more and more interesting things. However, i am surrounded by people who seem to have a more concrete perception of what they want out of life, what they have, the people they are surrounded by, the way they want to be, and what they want to do. I am as yet unsure, and cnstantly confused by everything, probably because i am a thinker rather than a doer.
So, here are some of my thoughts. I recently saw a theatre piece by some of my best friends at university from behind the scenes and i completely understood then why they do it. It is exciting, and it allows them the freedom to be other people, to bring out reactions from others, and to create fluidly and constantly. I am not a person who would like to do theatre, but I am a person whose introspection so far has been heavily limited. I much prefer to watch and to think about the people i see, rather than try to look inwards and think about the person i can't quite see there.

I realise that this is particluarly human.

Whatever.

I'm done with the clichés now. It has begun to rain outside, and I really miss the smell of water on concrete here in Spain. I am glad that if you are reading this, you have got this far. I am glad, that writing this, i have got this far.

What is going to follow is a selection of thoughts, both written and drawn. Bear with them. I think that honestly, they are worth it.

but you be the judge.

Clive

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